On being of the Fae

I used to spell it Fey but it is more accurately spelled Fae, as in Faeirie. No, I’m not a “fairy”; it is more a state of mind or confluence of personality quirks that creates the Fae. There is a sense of whimsy of course. There is also a child-like sense of wonder about all things. And an innocence born of the fertile soil of disorder. Attachment disorder, mild Asperger’s, dysthymia, a twist of intelligence, and trauma. These elements created an incredible selfishness but a mindless one (otherwise I’d be a sociopath.) They are expressed in a near-complete lack of ambition and a poor sense of how I am viewed by others.

But the Fae know this and rejoice in becoming the best version of themselves. We embrace our weirdness – we have to. As with all patterns of the mind we can turn towards those thoughts, judgments and emotions that foment chaos or we can turn otherwise to the patterns of the Fae: whimsy, delight, wonder, innocence.

I look at a picture of the north ridge of K2 and I experience what I can only describe as joy. I will never set foot on that mountain or see the north ridge, but I can trek to basecamp and experience in person the awesomeness that is this magical (and deadly) mountain. I may do that… We’ll see 🙂

K2 North Pillar (8611m). That traverse looks terrifying. Wish I could climb  this. | Beautiful landscapes, Beautiful places, Mountain landscape
K2: Arrived at K2 Base Camp - Joe Ashkar
This is what I long to see in person

To the Fae mind these images prompt a soul-level emotional response, one of awe and wonder, even joy. The Fae suffer more than most, being attuned empathetically to the sorrows of the world, but we are not controlled by these sorrows. In fact, they add to who and what we are. Where there is sorrow we respond with love, where there is evil we respond with love, and where there is suffering we respond with love. Love is the hallmark of the Fae. Love is the distillation of whimsy, wonder, awe, joy and yes, sorrow.

I don’t think that one can aspire to be of the Fae, it is that we are born this way but must discover it within ourselves. The qualities we possess can certainly be developed (well, mostly) and it is a worthwhile journey. You will be judged as “weird” and so what?! The judgments of others leave me unconcerned and they are the business of those doing the judging anyway. Who and what I am, and how I walk the path set before me by God is all I am concerned with. I look for the blessing and (hopefully) learn, and then pass on the blessing or lesson. That’s all I can do.

Being of the Fae requires intention and effort. It demands losing attachments to outcomes, as they create filters to our authenticity. Attachments are expressions of self and of need. The Fae have no need; we can want one thing or another but always default to “we’ll see!” I’m not there yet as I still struggle with certain attachments and “need.” But I recognize them and may soon understand them and by definition I will then be free of them. Understanding brings authority and authority creates freedom.

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